Issue #32: 21 Tybi 2757
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
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 | Oops, I did it again! Kauket dies againby Busty RussellIn the course of a few days, Kauket has been prematurely slain four times. "Yes, I ask for my Favour not to be removed, Mjolnir, of The Black Pearl said after Kauket was slain for the third time in almost as many days. "Yes, some will be unhappy," he adds. "Therefore I have offered some repayment." However, Malarthi was not pleased with Mjolnir's offer. "I would go one step further and suggest being Undone," he said, adding, "this being, of course, at 00:00 of the next day, after Mjolnir had to be dead the whole day." Mjolnir's request not to have his favour removed was in direct contrast to the Light Dominion's Bolverk, whose comments after he had slain Kauket and was attacked by his own dominion mate for the premature slaying indicated that he deserved to take responsibility for his actions and be punished for them. "Thank you Cherry Chapstick for diminishing me 200K," he said. "I would actually think at least another 200K is appropriate, any takers?" Bolverk added. Taking responsibility and not offering excuses, all the while alluding to a previous incident of a disciple not owning up to his own actions, Bolverk said, "No Cheetos, this was my mistake, not the cheetos, which i still do not condone." He added, "Anyone, please another 200K at least. I was not paying attention when I should have, and death and sunder is not significant enough." In Mjolnir's defense, he asked not to have his favour removed after Aurum Astrum's comment to Bolverk, regarding his [Bolverk's] request to have his [Bolverk's] favour removed. "See I think it is somewhat silly for you to take the loss on the favour," Astrum said. "You losing the favour does nothing towards making the disciples who feel slighted, 'whole.' Perhaps you should consider how you might make an offering to all those disciples in some manner," said Astrum. Bolverk's offer? "I will also pay back the Anima cost for Dimishing me tomorrow of any that do so. Please just send me the bill." At least one of Bolverk's fatal thrusts at Kauket occurred when he said the system hit a blip. However, Semerkhet was skeptical of this reasoning. "I have experienced such glitches and they have never caused me to kill Kauket once, let alone several times in one week," he said. "At worst they cause me to lose some anima," he added. "If others cannot experience such glitches without killing Kauket, then perhaps they should avoid Kauket." Got lost in the game.... I'm not that innocent. At first Mjolnir tried to accept blame for his actions. "Because my killing of Kauket was by human error and because I actually struck her down, I therefore cannot claim there was little I could do to prevent myself from murdering the Black Sphinx," he said. Yet, Mjolnir's allies tried to defend him. I played .... Got lost in the game. Oops! .... I'm not that innocent. HootieHoot, of Owls 'R Us, thought at least one was spouting nonsense. "Even I know that the strike button is in a different place on the screen than any of the buttons involved in answering enigmas, brother, " she retorted. "A disciple clicks strike because a disciple wants to click strike." Finally, Mjolnir conceded, "I had the option to flee from battle which I obviously overlooked at the time. Therefore the killing of Kauket being 'accidental' cannot be fully justified." Can't you see I'm a fool In so many ways? But to lose all my senses... That is just so typically me. "The fact that many people do not pay much attention does not refute my excuse, said Mjolnir, of The Black Pearl. "On one hand it could strengthen it," he said. "However I promise that I am not abusing this in my favour." Semerkhet did have some advice to offer Mjolnir. "Perhaps you need to alter your Sphinxing behaviour,' he recommended. "Otherwise, given your sloppy style of play we must assume that this 'accident' will be a frequent occurence." Che, of Light apparently agreed, and subsequently attacked Mjolnir, and then announced, "One day in the Underworld is far too light of a punishment for killing Kauket twice in five days." Not tainted by the orange of Cheetos' defense, Bolverk offered, "How about if I just stay in the Lake for 2 weeks, and perform community service when I get out," adding, "I will even wear a bright orange jumper." Kauket = Pwnt, 3 times in 1 weekby Mr. RagdollDepending on your normal actions in Ankhet, this is either going to make you chuckle, or curse. Hands up to all those who don’t spam sphinxes. Ahh, you guys would probably be laughing the s**t out of yourselves right now. And, hands up to all those who do spam sphinxes. Why, you all must be cursing MJOLNIR (N: The White Pearl) and Bolverk (Light) right now. In the course of this week alone from 9 Tybi to 14 Tybi, MJOLNIR and Bolverk have killed Kauket (Sphinx, 80 Anima Cost) early a few times, MJOLNIR and Bolverk twice. The first death, on 9 Tybi, was due to a server timeout. According to MJOLNIR, he tried to flee, but the Bugh otherwise known as “Ankhet Server Timeout” caught him out. That was a very nasty Bugh, and we at TAG sincerely hope that the Oracles manage to catch this nasty Bugh and squash him flat for all eternity. Or until Ankhet dies. Anyways, on the first day, MJOLNIR had accidentally slain Kauket. He was level 96 then, and it was only until Nefertiti (N: Luz) managed to come on then he would be given his Kauket-slaying punishment, a nice fast Dooming. Actually, ‘fast’ wouldn’t be a good adjective. A few of Nefertiti’s dooms failed, so she was forced to use a Mephitis Charge on him. The second day was even crazier. Only 45 minutes into the nice red Burning season, Bolverk, again, accidentally killed Kauket. This time the Bugh was nowhere to be found, but game mechanics had totally thrown him off. Bolverk had attempted to flee, but his flee failed. Funnily enough, Cheetos was brought into the question: Did he eat Cheetos and got his fingers all slippery and then clicked on the wrong button? (By the way, the Cheetos joke came from envincible (The White Pearl) re-aligning The White Pearl, traditionally a Hathor dominion, to Sekhmet, by mistake. Malarthi (The Wicked Wench) was quick to place the blame on Cheetos.) For all those Cheetos-haters, do not fear; Bolverk well and truly detests Cheetos, just like this budding reporter. This next paragraph would truly surprise you. Bolverk requested 400k total of favour to be diminished from him. He requested the first 200k to be diminished, which Che (Luz) duly did. Following that, there sparked a lengthy debate, that ranged from the serious (the debate about re-writing the standard punishment for killing Kauket) to the not-so-serious (Rorschach (The Riven) felt like Captain John Kirk (N: The Black Pearl) was taunting him to kill Kauket again. Of course, this was intended purely in jest.). Sign of a true hero, a true James Bond, this Bolverk. Unfortunately, following that on the next day, Bolverk unceremoniously repeated slaying Kauket again. Oh dear. As a result, he decided to abstain from using Kauket. Poor fella. The clincher came on 14 Tybi, when, haplessly, MJOLNIR accidentally-purposely slew Kauket. And, boys and girls, believe it or not, this was actually after he clicked the ‘Strike’ button. It was up to envincible to kill him this time. MJOLNIR confessed that he wasn’t really paying attention, but still some people like Semerkhet (Guidon) accused him of trying to profit from killing Kauket. Che got frustrated of MJOLNIR killing Kauket twice in 5 days, so on the rollover and the start of 15 Tybi 2757, he promptly killed MJOLNIR again, then he Metasis-ed to Amin-Ra, and decimated MJOLNIR down to level 40. Ouch. This reporter feels that Che’s punishments were a bit harsh, given that only recently, the Season of the Witch had been invoked, so anyone can kill Kauket as they wish. But it certainly makes for nice watching. Correction In the article entitled “3 Choiak 2757”, this reporter stated that Aurum Astrum’s (N: Dominion) Venerable Scroll came from the dominion Monolith. It has since been clarified that it is from the dominion Kitsune instead. We apologise for the error. Quotes of the WeekMjolnir: Personally, I agree to being dead until Kauket respawns, but I whole-heartedly disagree with being stripped of Favour. It is possible I would feel likewise had I been at a lower level, since less Favour would be lost. Once again, sorry for the inconvenience caused and I seek everyone's kind remission.Malarthi: My point with saying that em was that if the Announcement was just to cloud, as was posited, people should have been asking me why it was that I was attacking an innocent disciple. Because it obviously wasn't just to cloud, people didn't have to. I was attempting to point out that if Dagger nee Cherry Chapstick nee Cherry nee Che thought that I was speaking merely to cloud, I find (found? will have found? will find? whatever) it curious why he hadn't called me on attacking a disciple without reason... Or why for that matter no one else had. Hopefully that makes some sense. Aurum Astrum: No, I am not interested in "writing an article for TAG"! As I mentioned in an earlier message, I have the ability to Decree a new topic or respond to any message out there. If I wish to editorialize/report/otherwise discuss any issue I will make use of those abilities to do exactly that. HootieHoot: Enigmatic? Yes you are. Coupled with being entertaining, I'm not sure why there aren't about forty vestal virgins following you around in a chroni semi-swoon. Rorschach: So you can challenge me in private to desecrate you, then try to get me to by calling me names. How clever, your ruse that would not trick a 10 year old, which means you must have had help from a 9 year old given that yours are usually 3rd grade level at best, shall not work on me sir. Altair: Baltar is usually right...since we let both of you back we must all be idiots. W00Tsauce: It's always nice to see people get killed over words. I'm sure it makes others want to go contribute to the community by posting. Coolest Kid Ever: Words on the other hand, only hold weight depending on who they come from. Che: You're doing this wrong. The next step in the Malarthi Playbook is to come up with some ridiculously complicated rule and then threaten to enforce it without quarter. Priceless action of the week: 12:52 - Malarthi condemned Che before Atum! The gods stripped Malarthi of 7430 Favour. Atum stripped Che of 7906750 Favour. Dear Miss MummyDear Miss Mummy:I'm tired of sphinxing and getting answers wrong. Why do some disciples get mad when I ask them for a little help? Tootsie Tutor Well, Tootsie, tutors are generally frowned upon early in the game before disciples have had a chance to research and develop their own question lists, get experience in questing, and unlocking and learning different areas of the game. Besides, it's much more rewarding to find that aha! moment when you get a drop or unlock a new area of the game. Tip of the WeekDon't start up a resurrection thread until you have enough Metasis Charms to shove up everyone's ass that tries to silence you -.-On a more serious and Cheery note.. :) Pay attention to the Seasons. There are unique options that each season unlocks and they all tend to go in cycles. Breakawayby Busty RussellDagger, aka Cherry Chapstick, aka Che, aka He, akd Hey, broke away from the Light, Lite, and Luz dominions on 19 Tybi 2757 in dramatic fashion. After a week of increasingly volatile action in and around Ankhet, Che began to exhaust Hasdeni, per Hasdeni's suggestion in an announcement, "I will be away for the next three weeks. If you have any excess agressions, feel free to exhaust me." Che did. Arabella weighed in on the issue by bequeathing 800 anima to Hasdeni, reversing Che's attack. However, she had previously disagreed with Che's actions in her thread, "Events of my absence" and stated that she had explained her feelings to Che through telepathic communication. Yet, eighteen minutes later after Arabella's reversal, Che surprised members of Light with his actions. 00:49 - Che has converted to the Path of Menthu! 00:46 - Che has left the Light dominion. Nefertiti, of Luz, took precautionary action to protect the dominion's database by temporarily removing Che/He/Hey from the database, which Hey claims resulted in his taking the following action against his own dominion. 0:54 - Hey caused a plague to ravage Light. Light lost 1 fortitude. 20:54 - Hey caused a plague to ravage Light. Light lost 1 fortitude. 20:54 - Hey caused a plague to ravage Light. Light lost 1 fortitude. 20:53 - Hey caused a plague to ravage Luz. Luz lost 1 fortitude. 20:53 - Hey caused a plague to ravage Luz. Luz lost 1 fortitude. 20:53 - Hey caused a plague to ravage Luz. Luz lost 1 fortitude. 20:53 - Hey caused a plague to ravage Lite. Lite lost 1 fortitude. 20:53 - Hey caused a plague to ravage Lite. Lite lost 1 fortitude. 20:53 - Hey caused a plague to ravage Light. Light lost 1 fortitude. 20:53 - Hey caused a plague to ravage Light. Light lost 1 fortitude. 20:53 - Hey caused a plague to ravage Light. Light lost 1 fortitude. 20:51 - Hey opened the Eye of Menthu! 20:50 - Hey has left the Lite dominion. Apparently, Hey had been listening to Kelly Clarkson's "Breakaway" on his ipod this afternoon: Trying hard to reach out But when I tried to speak out Felt like no one could hear me Wanted to belong here But something felt so wrong here So I'd pray I could break away According to a Light Dominion spokesperson, the dominion has now entered family counseling in an attempt at reconciliation. Top of the GameHere are the current Ankhets: (Bold indicates a change from the previous issue)
From the Editor's DeskEnjoying TAG? Want to see it continue?Contribute! Please send any questions, comments, or submissions to AnkhetGazette@gmail.com. Submissions for Wednesday's issue should be in by Monday evening. Previous Issues can be viewed by using the Archives button below. View Archives | | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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